Thursday, 30 April 2015

Too limp to fuck

Went to a party
It was rather nice
I took it easy on the wine
Cause I was driving in the morning

But now I’m tired
You’re out of luck
I’ve run out of Viagra
Too limp to fuck

Too limp to fuck
Too limp to fuck
Too limp to fuck
Too limp, too limp, too limp, too limp to fuck

I like your stories
Don’t approve of guns
Although there’s an argument that
The police ought to have recourse to them

But in my room
Please don’t take it personally
But you and I are old enough
To remember Eraserhead
Too limp to fuck
Too limp to fuck
Too limp to fuck
I could do with a good night’s sleep
Too limp to fuck

I’m dropping off
I’m very sleepy
If you like, we can try and
Have a date night next week

Let’s just cuddle
And enjoy that.
Take out your false teeth
And put them in cleaner overnight

Too limp to fuck
Too limp to fuck
Too limp to fuck
I could do with a good night’s sleep, baby
I’ll try hard not to snore, baby
Oh, sorry, I need another pee
Too limp to fuck
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
ahhhhhh

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Cosmic conversations with cats: 1

Ikey cat just walked in the door.
As he walked in the door he said:

"Miaow."
"Miaow-miaow."


I heard it as this:
"I am Ikey."
"I am a cat."

I asked him:
"But how do you know you are Ikey?"
"How do you know you are a cat?"


But Ikey cat just turned away.
As he walked back out the door he said:

"Miaow."
"Miaow-miaow."